This memory is the flipside to this one. It's a childhood montage memory, but it spans many more years, from childhood to late adolescence. A lot of stuff happens in that time span, and very little of it is good or pleasant. Here are some highlights:
- Yusuke spends many nights by himself in the shack at a very young age when he shouldn't have been left alone, because Madarame was out. He goes hungry more than once, and when Madarame comes home, smelling strongly of sake, Yusuke tells him he's hungry, and Madarame scoffs and tells him to make something for himself.
- Yusuke, at age 6 or 7, learns how to make his own meals whenever Madarame is out... which is often.
- People come to live at the atelier with him and Madarame, but they never stay for very long. Madarame treats them--and often by extension, Yusuke--as his personal servants, and living conditions deteriorate.
- Yusuke, at age 8 or 9, learns how to prepare all meals at the atelier. He learns quickly that portion size is important; Madarame gets the largest amount, as well as the best cuts, and he and the other pupils share meager rations by comparison.
- Yusuke hears angry murmurs amongst the other pupils about Madarame stealing their art work for his own, and profiting off of it.
- Diligently, Yusuke studies art, but more often than not he does it by himself or with the other pupils. Madarame almost never actually teaches them anything.
- Yusuke spends multiple nights in winter freezing in his bed, and wills himself to endure the cold. He tells himself, shivering and stuttering, that "all true artists suffer for their art".
- Once, Yusuke confronts Madarame about the strange men who have been coming and going at the atelier, about the large sums of money he's seen them exchanging with Madarame. He demands that Madarame tell him who these men are, and what is he doing with all of that money. Madarame gets angry, angrier than Yusuke has ever seen him before, and he backhands Yusuke across the face. Madarame viciously tells Yusuke that without him, he'd be nothing--not an artist, not the pupil of a great artist, just some poor orphan the world doesn't care about. He says that Yusuke owes everything to Madarame, that he's an ungrateful child, and that he should throw him out into the street. Yusuke is so shaken and hurt that he ends up begging Madarame for forgiveness.
- Later, Madarame mentions that he's experiencing "artist's block", which strikes Yusuke as odd since he's never actually seen Madarame paint. Madarame implies in their conversation that without art to produce, he won't be able to support Yusuke anymore. Yusuke panics, and offers Madarame one of his recent paintings to use instead, even though he feels horrible about it. Madarame tells him he's doing the right thing, but Yusuke still cries in his room about it later.
- Yusuke spends many nights staring at the book from this memory just so he can gaze at the photograph of Sayuri, feeling nostalgic yet conflicted.
- Sometime when Yusuke is in junior high school, another student confronts him about certain rumors about his Sensei--rumors that Madarame steals the art work of his pupils and profits off of their talent. Yusuke feels panic and rage bubble up inside him, and loudly denies everything. "You don't know anything about Sensei!" he yells.
- Another one of Madarame's pupils, Nakanohara, tells Yusuke that he has to get out of the atelier and leave Madarame for good--for his own sake. Yusuke just shakes his head and tells him, "if I could leave, I would".
- Sometime in high school, Yusuke is in the kitchen preparing meals. He gets a text message from Nakanohara about a pupil they had both known--a girl about Yusuke's age, who had a passion for art that rivaled his own. She, like others, had been used by Madarame and lost their desire to create, and left. The text message informs Yusuke that she killed herself. Shocked, Yusuke stares at his phone like he can't believe what he's reading. As he's staring at his phone, Madarame comes by and chastises him for slacking off. Yusuke stumbles over an apology, and looks at the cutting board with the vegetables he had been chopping. He stares at the knife for a long while, until he realizes he's holding it... and angrily throws it into the sink instead.
7. LIVING WITH MADARAME (cw child abuse and neglect, suicide/suicidal ideation)
- Yusuke spends many nights by himself in the shack at a very young age when he shouldn't have been left alone, because Madarame was out. He goes hungry more than once, and when Madarame comes home, smelling strongly of sake, Yusuke tells him he's hungry, and Madarame scoffs and tells him to make something for himself.
- Yusuke, at age 6 or 7, learns how to make his own meals whenever Madarame is out... which is often.
- People come to live at the atelier with him and Madarame, but they never stay for very long. Madarame treats them--and often by extension, Yusuke--as his personal servants, and living conditions deteriorate.
- Yusuke, at age 8 or 9, learns how to prepare all meals at the atelier. He learns quickly that portion size is important; Madarame gets the largest amount, as well as the best cuts, and he and the other pupils share meager rations by comparison.
- Yusuke hears angry murmurs amongst the other pupils about Madarame stealing their art work for his own, and profiting off of it.
- Diligently, Yusuke studies art, but more often than not he does it by himself or with the other pupils. Madarame almost never actually teaches them anything.
- Yusuke spends multiple nights in winter freezing in his bed, and wills himself to endure the cold. He tells himself, shivering and stuttering, that "all true artists suffer for their art".
- Once, Yusuke confronts Madarame about the strange men who have been coming and going at the atelier, about the large sums of money he's seen them exchanging with Madarame. He demands that Madarame tell him who these men are, and what is he doing with all of that money. Madarame gets angry, angrier than Yusuke has ever seen him before, and he backhands Yusuke across the face. Madarame viciously tells Yusuke that without him, he'd be nothing--not an artist, not the pupil of a great artist, just some poor orphan the world doesn't care about. He says that Yusuke owes everything to Madarame, that he's an ungrateful child, and that he should throw him out into the street. Yusuke is so shaken and hurt that he ends up begging Madarame for forgiveness.
- Later, Madarame mentions that he's experiencing "artist's block", which strikes Yusuke as odd since he's never actually seen Madarame paint. Madarame implies in their conversation that without art to produce, he won't be able to support Yusuke anymore. Yusuke panics, and offers Madarame one of his recent paintings to use instead, even though he feels horrible about it. Madarame tells him he's doing the right thing, but Yusuke still cries in his room about it later.
- Yusuke spends many nights staring at the book from this memory just so he can gaze at the photograph of Sayuri, feeling nostalgic yet conflicted.
- Sometime when Yusuke is in junior high school, another student confronts him about certain rumors about his Sensei--rumors that Madarame steals the art work of his pupils and profits off of their talent. Yusuke feels panic and rage bubble up inside him, and loudly denies everything. "You don't know anything about Sensei!" he yells.
- Another one of Madarame's pupils, Nakanohara, tells Yusuke that he has to get out of the atelier and leave Madarame for good--for his own sake. Yusuke just shakes his head and tells him, "if I could leave, I would".
- Sometime in high school, Yusuke is in the kitchen preparing meals. He gets a text message from Nakanohara about a pupil they had both known--a girl about Yusuke's age, who had a passion for art that rivaled his own. She, like others, had been used by Madarame and lost their desire to create, and left. The text message informs Yusuke that she killed herself. Shocked, Yusuke stares at his phone like he can't believe what he's reading. As he's staring at his phone, Madarame comes by and chastises him for slacking off. Yusuke stumbles over an apology, and looks at the cutting board with the vegetables he had been chopping. He stares at the knife for a long while, until he realizes he's holding it... and angrily throws it into the sink instead.