kitagawa "nudes plz" yusuke (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
artisticliberty) wrote2018-12-20 10:33 am
artisticliberty) wrote2018-12-20 10:33 am
[imeeji - inbox]
"Hello, this is Fox. Please leave a message."
"Hello, this is Fox. Please leave a message."
[a few tails pop up as he frowns deeply, swishing unhappily]
What an insult to our dignities.
What an insult to our dignities.
[it's Joker's turn to be a bit of a wreck.]
I got the pic from Haru last night, but...
[you have no idea how bad the graying freaks him out]
I got the pic from Haru last night, but...
[you have no idea how bad the graying freaks him out]
[peering into his cup]
I think I've always felt that way.
[and then immediately backpedaling]
—Sorry. I always say such stupid things when I'm around you, don't I?
I think I've always felt that way.
[and then immediately backpedaling]
—Sorry. I always say such stupid things when I'm around you, don't I?
I do not think it is stupid. I would prefer you to speak honestly with me, when you can.
[strokes his hand up and down joker's back, trying to soothe him as he murmurs by his ear]
I am not going anywhere. I feel like myself. My mind and body are my own again. So please... rest assured. Even if I had...
[doesn't quite finish that thought]
... I made a vow, to come back. No matter what.
I am not going anywhere. I feel like myself. My mind and body are my own again. So please... rest assured. Even if I had...
[doesn't quite finish that thought]
... I made a vow, to come back. No matter what.
I still missed you.
[for the days he went missing and then not being able to carry out the promise in the house... but he takes a breath and lifts a hand to rub at his eyes.]
--can we go to your room?
[for the days he went missing and then not being able to carry out the promise in the house... but he takes a breath and lifts a hand to rub at his eyes.]
--can we go to your room?
Honesty is subjective and multi-faceted. The worst version of myself is not the form of honesty that I wish to convey.
Do you think your "honest self" and your "worst self" are the same?
Just somewhat.
[not judgmental-sounding, just confirming]
[not judgmental-sounding, just confirming]
I missed you, too.
[spoken softly, just above a whisper, before he leans back]
Yes, come with me.
[he leads joker back to his room, which has been cleaned up from earlier activities but still has a bunch of pillows on it from the previous night's pillow pile]
[spoken softly, just above a whisper, before he leans back]
Yes, come with me.
[he leads joker back to his room, which has been cleaned up from earlier activities but still has a bunch of pillows on it from the previous night's pillow pile]
[yeah, he already knows Haru was there the night before, and he follows Fox to his room easily, but then looks to him curiously. as if waiting on something.]
[fox closes the door behind them, and then... glances at joker]
... Joker?
... Joker?
[... hand lifts up to touch at the scarring on his neck. from the bite.]
Sorry... I didn't return the favor at all, did I? Or-- [frowning because this all sounds... so bad? but.] ... I dunno if that's the right way to approach this.
Sorry... I didn't return the favor at all, did I? Or-- [frowning because this all sounds... so bad? but.] ... I dunno if that's the right way to approach this.
[his eyes widen and then crinkle, and he steps close to joker to cover joker's hand on the bite mark]
You... I... oh, Joker, I don't know where to begin. I am so afraid of what I feel right now... afraid to keep it inside me. What I felt, back there, it was... terrifying, yet thrilling in ways I've never spoken of to you before.
You... I... oh, Joker, I don't know where to begin. I am so afraid of what I feel right now... afraid to keep it inside me. What I felt, back there, it was... terrifying, yet thrilling in ways I've never spoken of to you before.
There's a Venn diagram there. The overlap is larger than I would like.
[grabbing a piece of candy]
[grabbing a piece of candy]
I am glad for the distinction... as I said, I like it when you are honest. I should be more encouraging of that.
[... oh.]
You wouldn't have to. Necessarily. I understand.
[way too well.]
You wouldn't have to. Necessarily. I understand.
[way too well.]
You understand... ah. Yes, of course. Of course you do.
[carefully removes joker's hand and holds it in his own so can look at the bite marks properly]
...
I wanted you to return the favor. To hunt me down, chase me, pin me to a wall and tear me to pieces. And then I would do it again, to you. To see the look in your eyes, that murderous lust directed at me... I reveled in it. Even now, though my stomach twists to think of the horrors I committed in that house, when I recall how you looked at me, I... I...
[he swallows hard]
Is this what you meant? It feels as though a piece of me has swallowed that entity whole and now a part of it lives inside me.
[carefully removes joker's hand and holds it in his own so can look at the bite marks properly]
...
I wanted you to return the favor. To hunt me down, chase me, pin me to a wall and tear me to pieces. And then I would do it again, to you. To see the look in your eyes, that murderous lust directed at me... I reveled in it. Even now, though my stomach twists to think of the horrors I committed in that house, when I recall how you looked at me, I... I...
[he swallows hard]
Is this what you meant? It feels as though a piece of me has swallowed that entity whole and now a part of it lives inside me.
Edited 2019-09-30 00:50 (UTC)
It's more... they found that piece of you. Made you aware it was there.
[looking down at their hands, blood long gone but still can clearly recall it, and the murderlust and sheer giddy excitement he'd felt at the prospect of finding each person and winning his little "game"]
Last time, in that house... it wasn't anyone I was especially close with--except A. [and his brow furrows because his memory of those killings are... not really there. anymore. stupid memories.] There was a lot more... anger. And fury. On top of the isolation and-- [loneliness. he takes a breath.]
I didn't just kill that person, then. I did tear them apart. And then got to admire my handy work for some time after, while in the mirror. So, this time... I thought of that, except with someone I actually...
[so. yeah. he knows. he knows only too well, and he's never been able to figure out how to feel about it, which is why his shoulders come up a bit defensively even while he looks up at Fox again.]
Would that have been better?
[looking down at their hands, blood long gone but still can clearly recall it, and the murderlust and sheer giddy excitement he'd felt at the prospect of finding each person and winning his little "game"]
Last time, in that house... it wasn't anyone I was especially close with--except A. [and his brow furrows because his memory of those killings are... not really there. anymore. stupid memories.] There was a lot more... anger. And fury. On top of the isolation and-- [loneliness. he takes a breath.]
I didn't just kill that person, then. I did tear them apart. And then got to admire my handy work for some time after, while in the mirror. So, this time... I thought of that, except with someone I actually...
[so. yeah. he knows. he knows only too well, and he's never been able to figure out how to feel about it, which is why his shoulders come up a bit defensively even while he looks up at Fox again.]
Would that have been better?
... I don't know.
[slowly, leans in. feet shifting closer, foreheads almost touching.]
I want to say--if it made you happier, if it made you feel better, then yes it was. But maybe that isn't right. If it is wrong... then... perhaps we are both just as damned as the other.
[lightly brushes his fingertips along joker's neck where the bite wounds were]
But I think that having to endure all of that while angry and lonely and hurting, would be so much worse than finding some spot of comfort amidst the horror. So even if it just confirms my own damnation... I am glad for you.
[slowly, leans in. feet shifting closer, foreheads almost touching.]
I want to say--if it made you happier, if it made you feel better, then yes it was. But maybe that isn't right. If it is wrong... then... perhaps we are both just as damned as the other.
[lightly brushes his fingertips along joker's neck where the bite wounds were]
But I think that having to endure all of that while angry and lonely and hurting, would be so much worse than finding some spot of comfort amidst the horror. So even if it just confirms my own damnation... I am glad for you.
[wow. the want to cry is real strong right now because in fact... that really sums up a lot of the conflicted feelings.]
I would have. I really... would have.
[he squeezes Fox's hand, leans against the touches.]
I'm sorry I--probably should have... that last time. But I--the ghost this time... just wanted to win its games, so it didn't and I-- [still got everyone killed.]
I would have. I really... would have.
[he squeezes Fox's hand, leans against the touches.]
I'm sorry I--probably should have... that last time. But I--the ghost this time... just wanted to win its games, so it didn't and I-- [still got everyone killed.]
[his other hand moves to the back of joker's neck and gently strokes there]
I should have, as well. I was too caught up in the game between us and Mars, and I just watched while you... [murdered him] And by the time it was just us and North, I... I didn't mind dying if it meant spending time with the two of you. I was so lonely and hurting... I welcomed it.
I forgive you for all of it. Or rather... I feel like you have done nothing to me that I would resent you for. Not after all that we have been through.
I should have, as well. I was too caught up in the game between us and Mars, and I just watched while you... [murdered him] And by the time it was just us and North, I... I didn't mind dying if it meant spending time with the two of you. I was so lonely and hurting... I welcomed it.
I forgive you for all of it. Or rather... I feel like you have done nothing to me that I would resent you for. Not after all that we have been through.
It's not as though I intend to be dishonest with you. Or Joker, or Prim, or anyone else who has voiced this sentiment. There's only one person I've truly set out to lie to.
[why are you so much better at words? words are hard?!
that's basically why Joker's left kind of floundering for a moment before he goes in to kiss Fox, bittersweet and not at as gentle as he probably should be but part of that is him trying to put the words into action--forgiveness, acceptance, trepidation for his own experiences, hesitation when it comes to those wants and desires but also... they're still there.]
that's basically why Joker's left kind of floundering for a moment before he goes in to kiss Fox, bittersweet and not at as gentle as he probably should be but part of that is him trying to put the words into action--forgiveness, acceptance, trepidation for his own experiences, hesitation when it comes to those wants and desires but also... they're still there.]
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