artisticliberty | [imeeji

[it's Joker's turn to be a bit of a wreck.]

I got the pic from Haru last night, but...

[you have no idea how bad the graying freaks him out]

[strokes his hand up and down joker's back, trying to soothe him as he murmurs by his ear]

I am not going anywhere. I feel like myself. My mind and body are my own again. So please... rest assured. Even if I had...

[doesn't quite finish that thought]

... I made a vow, to come back. No matter what.

I still missed you.

[for the days he went missing and then not being able to carry out the promise in the house... but he takes a breath and lifts a hand to rub at his eyes.]

--can we go to your room?

I missed you, too.

[spoken softly, just above a whisper, before he leans back]

Yes, come with me.

[he leads joker back to his room, which has been cleaned up from earlier activities but still has a bunch of pillows on it from the previous night's pillow pile]

[yeah, he already knows Haru was there the night before, and he follows Fox to his room easily, but then looks to him curiously. as if waiting on something.]

[fox closes the door behind them, and then... glances at joker]

... Joker?

[... hand lifts up to touch at the scarring on his neck. from the bite.]

Sorry... I didn't return the favor at all, did I? Or-- [frowning because this all sounds... so bad? but.] ... I dunno if that's the right way to approach this.

[his eyes widen and then crinkle, and he steps close to joker to cover joker's hand on the bite mark]

You... I... oh, Joker, I don't know where to begin. I am so afraid of what I feel right now... afraid to keep it inside me. What I felt, back there, it was... terrifying, yet thrilling in ways I've never spoken of to you before.

[... oh.]

You wouldn't have to. Necessarily. I understand.

[way too well.]

You understand... ah. Yes, of course. Of course you do.

[carefully removes joker's hand and holds it in his own so can look at the bite marks properly]

...

I wanted you to return the favor. To hunt me down, chase me, pin me to a wall and tear me to pieces. And then I would do it again, to you. To see the look in your eyes, that murderous lust directed at me... I reveled in it. Even now, though my stomach twists to think of the horrors I committed in that house, when I recall how you looked at me, I... I...

[he swallows hard]

Is this what you meant? It feels as though a piece of me has swallowed that entity whole and now a part of it lives inside me.

Edited 2019-09-30 00:50 (UTC)

It's more... they found that piece of you. Made you aware it was there.

[looking down at their hands, blood long gone but still can clearly recall it, and the murderlust and sheer giddy excitement he'd felt at the prospect of finding each person and winning his little "game"]

Last time, in that house... it wasn't anyone I was especially close with--except A. [and his brow furrows because his memory of those killings are... not really there. anymore. stupid memories.] There was a lot more... anger. And fury. On top of the isolation and-- [loneliness. he takes a breath.]

I didn't just kill that person, then. I did tear them apart. And then got to admire my handy work for some time after, while in the mirror. So, this time... I thought of that, except with someone I actually...

[so. yeah. he knows. he knows only too well, and he's never been able to figure out how to feel about it, which is why his shoulders come up a bit defensively even while he looks up at Fox again.]

Would that have been better?

... I don't know.

[slowly, leans in. feet shifting closer, foreheads almost touching.]

I want to say--if it made you happier, if it made you feel better, then yes it was. But maybe that isn't right. If it is wrong... then... perhaps we are both just as damned as the other.

[lightly brushes his fingertips along joker's neck where the bite wounds were]

But I think that having to endure all of that while angry and lonely and hurting, would be so much worse than finding some spot of comfort amidst the horror. So even if it just confirms my own damnation... I am glad for you.

[wow. the want to cry is real strong right now because in fact... that really sums up a lot of the conflicted feelings.]

I would have. I really... would have.

[he squeezes Fox's hand, leans against the touches.]

I'm sorry I--probably should have... that last time. But I--the ghost this time... just wanted to win its games, so it didn't and I-- [still got everyone killed.]

[his other hand moves to the back of joker's neck and gently strokes there]

I should have, as well. I was too caught up in the game between us and Mars, and I just watched while you... [murdered him] And by the time it was just us and North, I... I didn't mind dying if it meant spending time with the two of you. I was so lonely and hurting... I welcomed it.

I forgive you for all of it. Or rather... I feel like you have done nothing to me that I would resent you for. Not after all that we have been through.

[why are you so much better at words? words are hard?!

that's basically why Joker's left kind of floundering for a moment before he goes in to kiss Fox, bittersweet and not at as gentle as he probably should be but part of that is him trying to put the words into action--forgiveness, acceptance, trepidation for his own experiences, hesitation when it comes to those wants and desires but also... they're still there.]

[fox makes a soft noise when their lips touch, eager to meet joker's efforts with his own barely-concealed desires for touch, for affection, for understanding. he parts his lips and winds his arms around joker's neck, pulling him close, letting him in--accepting him, wanting him.

there's so much pain still in him even now, but if joker understands, if joker accepts him, then it doesn't hurt.]

[should probably talk about the time Fox was missing, but in fact there's a lot of relief in that he's here and in color and it was clearly something terrible, so why give up this moment of comfort and acceptance and, okay, definite needy lust and affection that's so predictable--it feels like every time Fox keys into those feelings from the first time he went into that house, he just can't really hold back.

so he's pressing in closer to Fox, taking full advantage of those parted lips to deepen the kiss, tongue eagerly meeting with and running along Fox's. it's almost habitual, how he turns on Eris Alert--he doesn't need the confirmation of those feelings, but it's still such a thrill and if he could just make things better for Fox, keep the hurt at bay... even just a little...]

[there is pain, of course, that raw wound of the house in him, but it's more of a mild soreness right now compared to the flood of desire and neediness. he aches, but it's for affection and touch and closeness, for all the things joker is giving him. he wants more. there's a simmering heat growing stronger when their tongues tangle together, both lust and love intermingling.

fox lets out a low moan into joker's mouth and backs up against the closed door until his back hits it, pulling joker with him, coaxing their bodies closer together]

[upping that desire is just what's expected at this point, isn't it? not that it needs help in that but...

joker gasps at the moan, at feeling fox hit against something firm and him pulled in. he can feel himself shake a bit with need and want, even as his fingers dig into fox's arms to keep hold of him as he takes the initiative to rock his hips against fox's, a moan of his own escaping between their lips.]

[fox echoes joker's gasp as that shift of hip-on-hip sends a spike of heat through him. he's wearing loose clothing today, just his yukata, and so it doesn't take much before fox finds the right angle to follow joker's rhythm, grinding with him while his kisses turn messy and uncoordinated but no less hungry]

[it's just so easy to get wrapped up in this, but he does manage to pull back enough so he can speak, lips moving against fox's, voice airy and filled with the want and lust that keeps him in the rhythm of their movements.]

How do you... want me? Taking you...?

You taking me...?

[fuck it's hard to decide, and probably biting fox's lower lip is counter-productive to this but well, it's more sensual than painful.]

[fox is definitely getting lost in joker biting his lip, a soft whimper escaping him--he's really really into that, not minding the small spike of pain at all]

Ahh... I...

[he swallows and one hand slides down to curl into joker's shirt, cheeks and ears red]

I want you to take me. However... you want.

[licks his lips and meets joker's gaze, hesitant but wanting]

I am yours.

[those words make him shiver hard and he meets fox's eyes with a look that's practically smoldering before he pulls back just enough so he can start to trail his lips down to fox's chin, jaw... neck...

he lingers there to make a point in biting down on the skin there, amping up those feelings of desire and lust--perversely not so dissimilar to the feelings he had when his own neck was bitten, just less murder. but even then, he doesn't linger too long, lapping at the colorful bruise cropping up before continuing lower.

his hands are there undoing the yukata's sash and palming and rubbing at his cock before he makes it to his knees.]

[oh, that expression... that makes fox shudder, visibly, and he licks his lips in anticipation. he lets out a soft cry but it sounds relieved, ecstatic at the sharp pain that comes from joker's teeth working him up, his fist in joker's shirt tightening until he's white-knuckled.

the sash comes loose easily, as does the yukata, and underneath is just his underwear--barely masking his half-hard cock straining through the fabric. fox lets go of joker's shirt as he lower himself, watching him closely]

[his hands pause their work on fox's growing erection for just a moment so he can press his lips to and mouth at the bulge inside the underwear before he starts to pull it down. each bit of his cock revealed is eagerly greeted with his lips and tongue, until it's fully revealed. only then does a hand go to wrap around its shaft and start to stroke and pump it while he licks and sucks at the head, looking as though he's savoring every moment of this.]

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