artisticliberty | [reverie] inbox.

If you did, I don't recall. I was preoccupied, and I think I am missing several long spans of time. When I try to think about what happened, all I can hear in my head is the first verse to "Mambo No. 5".

Holy shit, you too man? Cept for me it's just "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" over and over again like

Yeah

Dude

Just effin' bury me already this shit sucks

I will do no such thing. Once we have rested properly for a few days, I'm certain everything will go back to normal.

[...]

No, I take that back. Perhaps not entirely normal.

This is a one way effin' ticket to strange town population us and there's no way we're gettin' offa this shit so buckle in and get ready for worse shit I guess

I mean

Really though you're okay right?

Last week was rough, this is me checkin' in on ya

I appreciate the gesture, although you should really learn when to use commas.

And I am alright, albeit tired and somewhat perturbed by an experience I had a few days ago with Ren.

Some people are born with the ability to comma others have to comma onto to it dude.

[His grammar is atrocious but his puns are on point.

And by on point, I mean, they're horrid.]

Oh...

Yeah, I mean. I guess, same?

What happened?

Well played.

[if you think yusuke's going to have a problem with puns, think again]

We danced. He's quite skilled at it. He showed me how to salsa and tango. He would make a good ballet dancer, too.

[what about that is 'perturbing', hmm?]

That sounds kinda like something Ren would do, so I'm not really seein' the diff here, man. Did he teach you how to salsa when you shoulda been learning how to dip?

[god...]

That one was not nearly as inspired.

[try harder, ryuji. yusuke types for a long time.]

Something happened when Ren and I danced, but try as I might, I cannot recall when or how it did. I can recall everything that happened, every sensation, every movement, every word spoken

but I could not begin to tell you how I became so mystified. When I think about it now, my body becomes overwhelmed with strange feelings

It feels far too warm, as though I've come down with a fever, but I don't feel particularly ill. On the contrary, I feel inspired. And Ren has always been a grand source of inspiration for me, but this time is different.

Have you ever felt this way, Ryuji? Has Ren ever coaxed something like this out of you? I admit, I am desperate for answers right now.

Fine, fine. I'll up my game up a bit and come back atcha with a way better one. Just lemme bide my time and find the right opening.

Wait so you danced with Ren. You felt mystified and your body was overwhelmed and you felt warm and inspired

Dude

With this sorta phrasing it kinda sounded like you got a hardon

[the 'seen at xx:00' message shows up, and there's a full minute delay between that and the next message]

In my defense, our hips were touching at the time. And he held me quite close, too.

Edited 2018-07-14 08:45 (UTC)

... I WAS JUST KIDDIN' ABOUT THAT AND YOU WERE BEIN' EFFIN SERIOUS

Please, not like this ma

If it were merely a physiological reaction, that would have been easily explained. But this was more than that. And now I must identify my feelings, which, as you know, I am historically terrible at.

So you're sayin' it was more than just feelin' the dude up, that you think you got feelings for Ren?

[Look... this is a tough topic for Ryuji, too, considering light of recent events. He's leaning on his very instinctive way of trying to make Yusuke be as completely detailed as possible since he has trouble understanding him sometimes. He loves Yusuke a lot, of course, but he... just wants to make sure.]

Edited 2018-07-15 14:41 (UTC)

Yes, I do. I am just not certain what those feelings are. I have never felt this way before, about anyone or anything

[pause]

Except this one time when I was taken to the Hiroshige museum in Shizuoka and I began weeping at the sight of such masterful works of art and I was inconsolable for about a week

[another pause]

But this is probably different.

[It's hard to judge what Yusuke's intentions are a lot of the time, but his gut feeling here is that this looks like the inklings of a crush unfolding right out into the open. Which is... well, it's surprising? In a way. He never doubted that Yusuke had the potential to form that sort of human connection, but, still, it's kind of surprising. And a little weird. And mostly? He wants Yusuke to do whatever makes him the happiest. He never got the chance to take him out for that beef bowl.

But it's also Ren.

That's.... sheesh, it's complicated. If he encourages Yusuke to do anything, then would it look... right? For him to do that. Why is all this shit so effin' confusing.

Just support your friends, dude. That's what you're actually good at. Worry about all the other stuff later.]

Yeah, I'm gonna say that the love for art ain't really the same as gettin' butterflies in your stomach for someone

And if it is Ren, then, shit, you couldn't have a better person to have them for, y'know?

Sorry, honestly I'm not that experienced in this stuff that much either. But maybe some advice like "follow your heart" is kinda the best I can give.

It is true that Ren is perhaps the best person I could be having these feelings for. He is, after all, kind and generous and handsome and charismatic and clever and athletic and brave and insightful and

Ahhhhhhhh

Heh

Sounds like you got it bad

But surely everyone has felt this way towards him at some point? That is just the sort of person he is. He draws others to him like moths to a flame... or weary travelers to an oasis.

Have you truly never felt like this before, Ryuji? Towards anyone, not just Ren?

["just", he says, like he's assuming ryuji's in the same boat he is]

He's kinda got a way of breaking himself up into segments that always fit the missing puzzle pieces of all your edges, no matter who you are, so I guess I kinda get that? Like, I dunno, he's a really good person. The best kind of person you could ask for.

But... maybe it's not the same kinda feeling you have. Which is cool, 'cause like. Yeah. He fits everywhere, but you're a different puzzle piece than I am, so my nooks aren't the same, right?

I dunno. You're askin' if I've ever had a crush on someone before? Yeah, of course, dude. It's part of just... living, I guess.

What did you do with it?

[GOD, YUSUKE???]

Huh?

You can just go and ask that of someone??????

Goddamn you're so effin' brave

Well, uh. Nothing, actually.

This is the first time such a thing has ever happened to me, so I want to know what my options are.

["sheltered" may not be the best word to describe yusuke's adolescence, because that implies some level of protection or safety, but he sure was absent for a lot of experiences]

Why not? Did the feelings leave you? Or did you simply learn how to live with yearning?

[a long pause, and then, oh hey]

Was it Ann?

Your options are pretty much a yes or no kinda thing. Yes, you tell him how you feel and you go for it. Riskier? Definitely. If it's no, then you just keep it inside and let it run its course, whatever that'll be

[This conversation is actually

Killing Him Softly.

He's not going to answer the yearning thing, though.]

Ann? Nah, we'd get under each other's skin way too much. I don't really think I could date any of our friends tbh

You're all like... a family of superheroes to me

[is that really it? yusuke wonders, but keeps it to himself. he has some things to mull over.

like that superheroes comment.]

We are all quite exceptional in our own ways, aren't we? That includes you too, by the way.

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