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[artisticliberty]

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Hello. You have reached the mailbox of Yusuke Kitagawa. I am currently busy and cannot answer the phone. Please leave a message.

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[artisticliberty]

[yusuke closes the distance between them immediately, both hands coming up to touch ren's face, fingertips sliding along his cheeks and thumbs touching the ridges of his cheekbones. his eyes roam over ren's face with a look of intent, but he doesn't say anything, just holds ren's face in his hands. he studies him like that, memorizing ren as best he can.]

[intrusivethot]

[ For his own sake Ren lets his mind go completely blank.

It's a small blessing that the sensation in his skin is less - anything to mute the source of the hammering creeping high in his throat that he can feel beat yet harder when he lifts his chin to help. No comments, no betrayal of how tenuously such scrutiny makes him feel save for the quick flutter of his eyelashes before he simply stares back at him. ]

[artisticliberty]

[yusuke's heart aches to look at ren like this for so long, yearns for him, but at the same time it soothes the feelings of doubt and hesitance. he licks his lips and for a moment it looks like he's going to kiss him--but instead he just pulls ren into his arms, lets his hands wind around him and tangle into his hair, holds him close despite a slight tremble in his shoulders]

[intrusivethot]

[ You are worthy.

Ren can't say it fully without speech but he tries to push the idea through sheer force of will, a stubborn refusal to avert his eyes. As confused, as unrefined his own feelings are he hasn't backed down on accepting Yusuke's, doesn't so much as flinch when it looks like Yusuke's gonna finally stop asking Ren permission for what he wants to do.

Disappointment still doesn't surface when he decides otherwise. On the contrary the intense beat in his throat triphammers at being held so dear to another, that after weeks of awkwardness and enduring the fact that he died and no one save Hajime even tried to check in on him, no one else thought that Ren might not be okay because he's always okay -

No one else tried. And when Yusuke's fingers wind into his hair he feels a barrier buckle, a deep shudder as he draws a breath and presses his face into the closest warm plane of Yusuke's chest, the weight settling in his bones and crushing him to Yusuke.

He hugs back, unable to fight any longer. ]

[artisticliberty]

[yusuke holds ren close, his fingers curling in his hair, gently stroking the back of ren's head. he feels warm all over, just to be able to hold ren close like this, to feel his body, to touch him with only a little reservation.

words can't come to him like this. he just wants to express his feelings in the most honest, rawest way possible. he hopes ren can understand.]

[intrusivethot]

[ What started as a moment of grief in Yusuke's arms eases as time winds on. Less fraught, less labored breathing, dangerous heat receding but staying high in his face, embarrassed at how much he needs the contact. But he has to allow it and the silent admission of how not-okay he is, the very-okay fact of Yusuke's affection wrapped all around him and quite literally holding him together. ]

I know. 'M sorry for making you wait for me.

[artisticliberty]

[he speaks softly, a little choked up]

You are here now. I am sorry for doubting.

[intrusivethot]

If you doubted for a second then it's no fault of yours.

[ Stop thinking that you can't be enough. Stop holding him on a pedestal and just hold him, damnit. ]

Yusuke, look at me for a sec.

[artisticliberty]

[yusuke releases his hold on ren so that he can look him in the eyes, but otherwise not moving away]

[intrusivethot]

Oh good, there you are.

[ In just the right place for Ren to hook a hand around the back of Yusuke's neck and pull his mouth against his. ]

[artisticliberty]

Ren--?!

[yusuke's eyes widen as ren moves closer, not expecting it, and when their lips touch he lets out a soft gasp of realization. for a few seconds he doesn't kiss back, too stunned to do anything else... and then his mind screeches to a halt, and there's only instinct left. with a shudder, he grips ren tight and kisses him back, clumsy and unpracticed, but willing and eager and wanting]